Saturday, March 1, 2014

Tales of Two Cities

Tale of Two Cities
By Tatiana Pahlen

Since De Blasio was recently crowned Mayor of New York, strange things began happening on the Upper East Side. Despite announcing his relocation to the Gracie Mansion, a residence reserved for the elected Hizzoners since 1942, he still holes up in his Park Slope, Brooklyn house. He is chronically late to every official event, showing disrespect and arrogance written all over his disengaged face! The city suffered two major Nor’easters and, naturally Park Slope was plowed in no time, while no plowing was done in Manhattan! Right now East Siders suffer huge mountains of snow spruced up with garbage bags as high as the Hi-Rise Towers! De Blasio vindictiveness towards the East Siders has no limits.

On Saturday, February 16, I dined in Midtown in the tiny Italian restaurant with a great cuisine, Radicchio on 53 Street, and to my amazement I didn’t find a trace of snow within several blocks. Where did it go? It can’t melt right after the storm in the freezing temperature, especially the new artificial snow. As you may be aware by now, many videos emerged on YouTube showing a suspicious snow, which didn’t melt even after burning with a blowtorch! The foul smell suggested there were elements of plastic! It didn’t leave any water, but oddly would melt in hands. NASA’s mad scientists made us guinea pigs experimenting their lethal new trend. One source revealed the white substance, an alleged snow, was spiked with plutonium particles! If you suddenly experienced a nosebleed, fatigue or diarrhea that’s the cause! Avoid any contact with it like a plague!

Last Friday, January 21, I was in the West Village trying a new trendy hot spot, “Onegin” and again was shocked. I could not locate a speck of snow or any garbage bags! Of course, it’s the neighborhood of De Blasio’s pals and his largest fundraisers!

On Saturday, January 22, I passed by the Gracie Mansion, situated on 88th Street on my way to the Carl Schurz Park! The place looked unusually dirty, surrounded by icy hardened snow. For those who don’t know the park, it was featured in Spike Lee’s movie, “25th Hour,” starring Edward Norton and recently departed and forever loved by many, Philip Seymour Hoffman!

The boardwalk was no better: huge puddles everywhere with blackened snowdrifts pushed aside.

I stopped at my favorite place, the tiny dog run around 84th Street to watch the little pooches. The place was a mess! I wish I had a camera to document it. The pups were sliding all over in a rush to catch their playing balls. Two little tykes, I assume no older than seven, a girl and a boy were struggling with larger than their heights shovels, pushing the piles of snow into the corner. The playground restricts visitors without the dogs to enter it! I stood and watched in disbelief! What happened to the park keepers? It never looked so bad under any other mayor! And where is PETA? It’s an obvious abuse and endangerment of the animals!

As I continued my stroll, I noticed the snow was removed from the walk area around 83th Street. Nevertheless, when I exited the park, the streets were under the snow again.

De Blasio who famously warned the upscale residents about redistribution of their wealth began with redistribution of the snow! Was the removed snow from Midtown and West Village dumped on the East Side? We need the answers! The East Side is blocked for entrance by the walls of snow! So, what’s up, De Blasio? Looking for creative ways of retribution? Yes, we didn’t vote for you and loathe your lackadaisical agenda! Get to your senses before we wipe your disdainful smirk from your frozen-in-time grimace. We shall demand to keep you accountable for springing your criminal crony Bishop Orlando Findlayter out of jail.

You are not above the law, mister! Pick up the rotting garbage and start plowing the black snow from our curbs. Enough is enough!

Mayor De Blah Blah
By Tatiana Pahlen

The story starts with a cunning mot
Who went to embrace her future Knight
Mayor De Blasio,
whom she seduced while being a lesbian;
Produced him two offspring
A boy and a girl who helped pitch
A calculated Mayoral bridge.
By pimping Dante with an overblown Afro,
Mot easily cleaned up all the black votes,
Then gays and lesbians!

The whole idea to tax the rich
To help breed the pre-K list,
De Blasio tried to outwit
Cuomo over a pizza lunch,
where Hizzoner consumed his slice,
using a questionable fork and knife.
His wife is an ambitious shrew
Enrolled as The Head of his Mayoral Fund,
After she hired the pricey aid
The former pal of Al Sharpton.

The family lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn
Pretending they moved into the Gracie Mansion
No wonder the streets of the Upper East Side
Filled with putrefied garbage!
His vindictive oversight is raw
to punish the residents of the East Side
Who didn’t fancy him as a Hizzoner,
since he insisted in installing a large waste dump
Next to “Asphalt Green” and a schoolyard
What kind of brain could come up with this?

Attached to the fancy High-Rise towers,
The wealthy residences of the East Side
In the past were his largest donors,
betrayed by the egomaniac,
who literally came from nowhere!
Imagine the waste that will breed diseases
Will kill the neighborhood for years to come,
Including the big portion of Gracie Mansion!
Whoever brandished this odious man
Should be held without bail!

February 7, 2014

Copyright © 2014 Tatianyc. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Have you noticed Michael Dell in the news lately? This distraught PC maker is hopelessly trying to buyout his own company, while investors are fighting for ownership stepping all over each other heads in order to bite a big chunk. The latest addition is Carl Icahn, the billionaire Hedge Fund mogul whom I met once during the dinner party in the pearl of the Hamptons. The house where dinner was held, bested any palace, overlooking a private pond with a large boat and a helicopter ready to take off.

The host seated me next to Carl. I didn't have a clue who he was! I was separated from my party of six and ended up with strangers. It happened over two decades ago. I felt awkward and uncomfortable, except I'm at my best when thrown in the unknown waters. Carl and I barely touched our food, chatting for three straight hours. His former secretary and nowadays wife watched in horror as her man was engaged in a heated conversation. The subject was literature, history, philosophy and we juggled all three of them with ease back and force. When the gear shifted to sports, I found we both shared love for tennis! My friends where I stayed had a tennis court on their property, so Carl asked if we could play in the morning. I quickly agreed. To my dismay, my friends told me in the morning, that Gail, Carl's future wife spent the night in hysterics crying like a fish, and Carl was not coming for the game. Now hearing him jumping into the Dell buyout fray brought memories of an intellectual, soft spoken man, instead of a feared moneymaker machine I read about!  

Years back I did a cartoon on Dell out of frustration. The screen often opened upside down, I replaced the hard drive with no results, batteries didn't last as promised, cords were falling out. The customer service is the worse in the world based in India.
As soon I transfer endless files to Mac, I'll get rid of this trash.

In today's New York Post article, I found a similar image that caught my eye next to the article on Dell. Instead of rats ornamenting the PC screen there were vultures.  
It's not a first time Post is borrowing my ideas, but hey, imitation is the best way of flattery as they say!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Speaking of cloning food plus new GMO goods rapidly filling the shelves of our Supermarkets and Whole Foods Stores, complements to the lawless Monsanto, DuPont and Kraft. How do you like this piglet fish? Bacon will take care of the frying oil! Win-win! Pocket savings? And you can produce bacon oil instead of fish oil! Double whammy!
I certainly have no appetite for it, but keep it as a pet in the water tank can keep a smile on one's face...oink! Oink!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Missile Impossible

Today, reading an article,  "Appeasing the Nuke Madman" by veteran warmonger, Michael Goodman, in New York Post, I was amused to find an image of Ahmadinejad riding the rocket like a wild cowboy, except the picture looked too familiar. In 2006 I made a cartoon almost with exact image but the character was Kim Jong Il. It's not the first time my ideas reappeared in the Post, but shall I console myself by reminding: "Imitation is the greatest form of flattery?" Days before 9/11,  I was visiting Moscow and stayed at the Metropole Hotel, where the late Kim Jong Il was also lodging. The place was flooded with an army of his bodyguards. Later I found out he never spent a night there. He arrived in the bulletproof train and bunkered on his premises.  Now his new nest is underground. Amen!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Commander in Mis'Chief

Neocons are venomously fighting every competitor, other presidential candidates to nominate their pet, Newt Gingrich, a lying, cheating former Speaker of the House! This chameleon can change in a heart beat into any form on demand of the mob. He contributed to the economic bubble by collecting consulting fees, $1.6 mil from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Being a Washington insider, he knows how to maneuver and collect enforcements from the other crooks backing him for the President in 2012. Nancy Pelosi warned him, that she has a surprise that would blow away his Presidential aspiration. He is not even on the ballot of Virginia, but the creep is not giving up. Let's see how long he is going to last in this race.

On the good note, Ron Paul is the only man of integrity who stood up against bailouts, pre-emptive wars, increasing pay for the Congressmen & other porks. For the past 30 years he is still firmly standing on his principles: pro-life, free market, rights to bear arms, restoring Constitution of the Founding Fathers. And yes, he wants to end the Federal Reserve Bank. That's right, shut it down once and for all. Is it possible? Of course! America didn't have this murky private Bankers before 1913. Time to return to the old American glory and get rid off the leeches! Amen!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Nancy Grace Battles Flatulence

Poor Nancy! It was hard to keep grace, after letting air go on camera, just right after another magnificent "Dancing with The Stars" performance. But who are the judges? We are all mortals! You are still gracious in the eyes of your fans!

Nancy Pelosi Joins OWS Protestors

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi vigorously praised the thousands of “Occupy Wall 
Street” protesters crowding New York City and other cities across the nation.
“God bless them for their spontaneity,” Pelosi told reporters. 
“It’s young, it’s spontaneous, it’s focused and it’s going to be effective.” 
Don't forget to takes occasional showers, Nancy!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Sunday, June 19, 2011

See you later, Weinergator

Poor­ Anthony Weiner, after spending countless years climbing the social stairs of politics only to tumble with the click of the twitter button. Why men married to beautiful, brainy women must seek reassurance of their little selves on the shady side of their marriages? Egomaniacs, or plainly peacocks?” What drove this promising politician to jump into the cyber pit without the safety net, tweeting and sending recklessly his body parts to six publicity-starved female strangers? Then he lamented in front of the cameras, shedding burning tears of his mistreatment by media. In his view, the envious fate did not permit him to conjugate the mayoral race he was groomed to inherit. Do all congressmen have much time to spare or just the privileged ones? Sure, and this too shall pass, but the Democratic Party had been marred again with another disgraced member they were prone to breed. 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Iranium Syndrome

9/11 New Blame Game

Here we go again, first we blamed Iraq for the 9/11 attack to find an excuse to invade them, now we are eyeing Iran! The new Iranian defectors claimed they had known all along about the Iranian provision and training of 9/11 plane hijackers. No kidding? After ten years of senseless war in Iraq we can’t wait to get engaged in a new venture. How daring! The defectors came forward with much welcomed revelation to stir the pot. But why should we trust them? They could be sold out for the asylum they had been granted and large sums of promised dough, which we try to collect from the Iranian government now by suing a long-proclaimed “Axis of Evil.” What about the other defectors from Iran? Were they muffed? Why those three lucky bastards that became the latest addition to the United States population all of a sudden dropped a bomb? Oddly I anticipated the blame shift. It was only a matter of time before the crooked finger would spin the roulette. Expect huge demonstrations to be staged in the upcoming weeks. Since we couldn’t pin them on WMD, the game has changed.  Once again my old cartoon can go another round.